Amusing story

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1079358.html?menu=

Air Guitars. A thing of beauty

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/3597564.stm

Kill Bill Volume 2

I bought Kill Bill Volume 2 last night.

Hmmm...

Not sure how I feel about it yet. A marked difference from the first. The best bit was Uma's ninja trainer. Constantly smoothing his beard.

Pissing off ze Germans

Today I have been mostly pissing of the Germans.

Our mad German mathematician at work was bragging about Germany beating Great Britain in the medal tables.

So i've spent the afternoon trying to beat him at his own game by disproving his theory with maths.

By population we are in fact better. Ha, ha!

How many people per million population will get a medal?

Great Britain

Gold: 0.117
Silver: 0.133
Bronze: 0.117
Medal: 0.367

Germany

Gold: 0.100
Silver: 0.125
Bronze: 0.138
Medal: 0.363


God i'm bored...

Update: 2/17

The only reason I give blood

Free crisps and biscuits

Hmmm. Jammy Dodgers.

Birthday celebrations

Anything else is in addition.

Monday

Morning: Birthday fry up in Pistachios.

Afternoon: Watch the football (possibly)

Evening: I may cook, go out for a meal or a takeaway, then drinks in a pub in Greenwich

Off to Brighton today

I'm off to Brighton in about an hour. It's our staff away day. Staying in that posh hotel again.

http://www.hotelduvin.com/default.asp?pgid=8

£40 bottles of wine
£25 shots of whiskey
£20 cigars

all on company money, ha, ha.

Beers

I've said it before, and i'll most certainly say it again

Lunchtime beers are great.

Beers on Friday lunchtime...

What ever genius thought that up should be given a medal.

And royalties.

And free beer.

Birthday

Hi Guys

What are you up to on the bank holiday weekend of the 28th?

Seeing as it looks as though we're no longer going on holiday for the week following the weekend of the 28th, I'm thinking of having a get together down in London for a day or two instead. Ross has pulled out saying he can't get the time off plus may struggle with money and Ben says that he'd struggle to pay for it too.

It's my birthday on the 31st so wanted to do something for that. It's also the bank holiday weekend.

I'm now free all weekend so fancy doing something.

I think Ben's busy on the Sunday, some crappy naming ceremony (created by Clinton Cards).

The current plan is to go to a few bars in Greenwich on the Monday night. It'd be great if you could all make it. Of course that would mean taking the Tuesday off from work to recover.

Let me know how you're all fixed.

Cheers

Alien Wreckage? Or just a big dumb stupid rock that fell out of the sky...

Scientists claim to find alien wreckage

Russian scientists claim to have discovered the wreck of an alien craft at the site of an unexplained explosion in Siberia almost a hundred years ago.

They say they found the remains of an extra-terrestrial device that allegedly crashed near the Tunguska river in Siberia in 1908.

The Interfax news agency reports that the scientists were working for the Tunguska space phenomenon public state fund.

They also claim to have discovered a 50kg rock which they have sent to the Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk for analysis.

The Tunguska blast, in a desolate part of Siberia, remains one of the 20th century's biggest scientific mysteries.

On June 30, 1908, what is widely believed to be a meteorite exploded a few kilometres above the Tunguska river, in a blast that devastated over 2,000 square kilometres of forest.

Perminant bad luck, what a numb nuts!

I got home last night with a new found purpose. I decided to throw out everything I no longer needed and have a huge room rearranging session.

Although hard work, after about 2 hours I was nearly finished and was very satisfied with my rooms new look.

All I had to do was put another couple more things under my bed and I was done.

I pulled my bed away from the wall a couple of cm and then I saw with horror that my new mirror was falling silently in slow motion towards the vacuum cleaner.

I must have missed it by about 1 or 2 cm. With a loud smash my mirror was no more.

In the heat of the moment it is hard to recollect exactly what I said, but I think you all have reasonable levels of imagination so will leave it there.

It's actually the 2nd mirror i've broken in that room.

Does it mean that I now have permanent bad luck or does the 2nd mirror counter act the previous 7 years from the last one?

Update: 1/17

The stories just get better and better.

Darkness sign dead dog's b*llocks

The Darkness say one of the strangest requests from a fan was to sign a dead dog.

Drummer Ed Graham say the fan brought his grandma's late pet to an autograph session.

He told the Irish Examiner he signed the stuffed animal - on the testicles.

Graham said: "We were doing a signing and this guy brought a miniature stuffed dog.

"It was his grandmother's. He never got on with his gran - or the dog - then the dog died and she had it stuffed.

"When she died she left him the dog. He said: "'If I get you to sign it, then I might be able to make peace", so I signed its testicles 'E' and 'D', one on each b******."

Adam Aston perhaps...

Cat forces down plane

A plane was forced back to earth after a bad-tempered cat attacked the pilot.

Gin was traveling to a cat show when he escaped from his cage after his owner fell asleep.

He found his way into the cockpit, where he took an instant dislike to the co-pilot, reports Sky News.

The cat was "very aggressive and scratched the co-pilot", forcing the crew to return to the airport, a SN Brussels spokesman said.

The plane, carrying 62 people from Brussels to Vienna, had been in the air for 20 minutes when it was forced to turn back.

The passengers were put on another flight to Vienna, without the cat and its owner, who had to take a separate flight there.

The only pilot I know that people take a instant dislike to is Adam. Only kidding mate, if you every stumble across this message. Just reminiscing about our night out in Deptford.

Pollictical correctness is going crazy I tells ya

Call to ban 'thin' from dictionary

A Dutch group wants to ban the word 'thin' from the dictionary because it's insulting to underweight people.

The group, called Small Intestines Anonymous, represents people who struggle to put on weight.

They say the word 'thin' is a term of abuse used by 'fat over-rulers' to put down slender people.

The organisation wrote to Dutch dictionary publishers Kramer and Van Dale asking them not to include the word.

They will also present a 3,000-name petition to Maria van der Hoeve, the Dutch Minister of Education, Culture and Sciences.

Tim's updated his friends re

Quite amusing if you want a laugh

Finished my degree in Chemical Engineering and decided to hang around doing 3D graphics.

Am currently working for a large defense company fighting terrorists!

In a band called The Legion of Doom! We rock and sound as fat as your mum.



Member's Interests: Music, art
Member's Favourite Music: Converge, Every Time I Die, Poison the Well, Beecher
Member's Favourite Sport: Football

Woweey!

I actually have work to do.

I suppose I'd better go and do it then, rather than write this...

Out for a run in the rain last night

Pretty good fun really. Very refreshing.

Come on Ben, go for a run tonight. And you Ian. Make an effort.

Even Kris is doing it!

The heavens have opened and I haven't got my umbrella

Who's going to be the first person to laugh?

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

Anybody read this?

Pretty good book. Some definite Indiana Jones style stuff going on there, which you can never tire of.

New Pic

How do you like my new pic?

Thank the Beeb...

You may have got rid of the Simpsons but thank you for putting back on Malcolm in the Middle.

Tuesday's episode where his Dad takes up speed walking was truly magnificent.

Best Simpson's episode ever

Tough call

Either the episode with the sensory deprivation tank or the one where Homer gains weight so he can work from home through disability.

Votes please

Chav in the City

Just seen one of the secretaries wearing an all in one Burbury dress.

He, he. We're trying to get a photo of her, will somehow post it if I can get hold of a copy.

What is she thinking?