http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=politicalhumor&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fsuccessblog.biz%2Fbushwriter.html
Homerisms(114) =
Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!
My people call me the dude. I share my teachings in the passages below... (along with many typos, grammatical errors and lazy writing)
Friday, 29 July 2005
Thursday, 28 July 2005
Shitist film ever award goes to...
Soldier
Channel 5 last night.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120157/
What was the budget? Not much.
Only redeeming feature (for Ben) is that Sean Pertwee is in it.
Homerisms(113) = "The sun? That's the hottest place on Earth."
Channel 5 last night.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120157/
What was the budget? Not much.
Only redeeming feature (for Ben) is that Sean Pertwee is in it.
Homerisms(113) = "The sun? That's the hottest place on Earth."
I'm off to Brighton on Saturday
I'm heading down to Brighton this Saturday to see a few of my old uni mates. Most of which I haven't seen for about 3 years, one of which is my ex, Robyn. Should be interesting...
Am quite looking forward to it really, if only to see how much everyone's swelled.
Marcella: You know, when you started getting invited to your ten year high school reunion, time is catching up.
Martin Q. Blank: Are you talking about a sense of my own mortality or a fear of death?
Marcella: Well, I never really thought about it quite like that.
Martin Q. Blank: Did you go to yours?
Marcella: Yes, I did. It was just as if everyone had swelled.
Top film.
Homerisms(112) = "Stupid risks make life worth living."
Am quite looking forward to it really, if only to see how much everyone's swelled.
Marcella: You know, when you started getting invited to your ten year high school reunion, time is catching up.
Martin Q. Blank: Are you talking about a sense of my own mortality or a fear of death?
Marcella: Well, I never really thought about it quite like that.
Martin Q. Blank: Did you go to yours?
Marcella: Yes, I did. It was just as if everyone had swelled.
Top film.
Homerisms(112) = "Stupid risks make life worth living."
Ross update 3
Ross is doing much better and wants to thank everyone who's come along to visit him over the past few days.
I saw him yesterday and he's now up and about, not as mobile as he'd like but considering how he was last week it's amazing.
Praise Jebus!
If you've seen the photos of the car wreck you'd be amazed too.
For anyone that hasn't been to see him yet, he's in Room 4 Fotheringhay Unit, in Kettering General. Visiting times are between 2-8pm.
I saw him yesterday and he's now up and about, not as mobile as he'd like but considering how he was last week it's amazing.
Praise Jebus!
If you've seen the photos of the car wreck you'd be amazed too.
For anyone that hasn't been to see him yet, he's in Room 4 Fotheringhay Unit, in Kettering General. Visiting times are between 2-8pm.
Friday, 22 July 2005
I'm off to a Summer Ball tonight
Our annual Summer ball is on tonight, so i'll be tuxido'd up with a lovely bow tie.
I'll be sure to post lovely photos of me up on my Moblog as soon as I get them, although my phone's been playing up again so you may have to wait.
Homerisms(111) = "I don't have to be careful. I got a gun."
I'll be sure to post lovely photos of me up on my Moblog as soon as I get them, although my phone's been playing up again so you may have to wait.
Homerisms(111) = "I don't have to be careful. I got a gun."
Thursday, 21 July 2005
Ross Update 2
Good news
Just had a text from Shaheen and Ross should be getting transfered to Kettering in the next few days.
The DVD player is at Lloyd's but hasn't been passed onto me yet.
Just had a text from Shaheen and Ross should be getting transfered to Kettering in the next few days.
The DVD player is at Lloyd's but hasn't been passed onto me yet.
Bombs
Just got back from a team lunch, but heard the news from a text.
190 all out!
Seriously though, heard about the bombs too.
We were less than 10 mins walk from the Shoreditch bomb.
We've just been told to stay in the building....
Homerisms(110)
Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
190 all out!
Seriously though, heard about the bombs too.
We were less than 10 mins walk from the Shoreditch bomb.
We've just been told to stay in the building....
Homerisms(110)
Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
What a joke
Get your anti slavery writ bands here???
http://www.play.com/play247.asp?pa=genbrw&page=title&r=GADG&title=616211
Or my favourite…
http://www.play.com/play247.asp?pa=genbrw&page=title&r=GADG&title=649855
Sharing the promise?
Makes me sick
How about these gems?
...Caring the love...
... Cherishing the feeling
Homerisms(109) = "You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."
http://www.play.com/play247.asp?pa=genbrw&page=title&r=GADG&title=616211
Or my favourite…
http://www.play.com/play247.asp?pa=genbrw&page=title&r=GADG&title=649855
Sharing the promise?
Makes me sick
How about these gems?
...Caring the love...
... Cherishing the feeling
Homerisms(109) = "You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."
Wednesday, 20 July 2005
Update on Ross
I spoke to his Mum on Monday night plus saw Shaz yesterday and things are looking up for Ross.
He's now had his broken arm fixed and may not have to got to Glasgow afterall. The may be able to fly him closer to home.
I'll keep you all up to date, as soon as I hear anything new.
He's now had his broken arm fixed and may not have to got to Glasgow afterall. The may be able to fly him closer to home.
I'll keep you all up to date, as soon as I hear anything new.
Monday, 18 July 2005
Ross
As you know Ross had a nasty car crash on Sunday morning.
I know we all wish him well.
Ross's still in a lot of pain but his Mum told me last night that the doctors think he'll be okay in a few months time. I think once he's stabilised they're going to try and take him to a specialist unit in Glasgow.
I'll try and keep you all up to date with events.
I'll probably try and head up early next week to see how he's getting on, if anyone else fancies a trip up to Scotland just let me know and we can sort it out together.
Get well soon cards would be nice too. For now, send them to
1 Manitoba Close
Corby
NN18 9HX
Cheers
Stu
I know we all wish him well.
Ross's still in a lot of pain but his Mum told me last night that the doctors think he'll be okay in a few months time. I think once he's stabilised they're going to try and take him to a specialist unit in Glasgow.
I'll try and keep you all up to date with events.
I'll probably try and head up early next week to see how he's getting on, if anyone else fancies a trip up to Scotland just let me know and we can sort it out together.
Get well soon cards would be nice too. For now, send them to
1 Manitoba Close
Corby
NN18 9HX
Cheers
Stu
Friday, 15 July 2005
Luckily we didn't insure this...
http://www.bpissuenews.com/external/index.cfm?cid=988&fuseaction=EXTERNAL.docview&documentID=78898
http://www.bpissuenews.com/external/index.cfm?cid=988&fuseaction=EXTERNAL.docview&documentID=78923
Homerisms(108) = "Your mother seems really upset about something. I better go have a talk with her ... during the commercial."
http://www.bpissuenews.com/external/index.cfm?cid=988&fuseaction=EXTERNAL.docview&documentID=78923
Homerisms(108) = "Your mother seems really upset about something. I better go have a talk with her ... during the commercial."
Wednesday, 13 July 2005
For your entertainment tonight
Escape from New York
10:00pm - 11:55pm
ITV2
Including Entertainment News Update at 10.55
Sullen Kurt Russell impersonates Clint Eastwood in this tough futuristic western from director John Carpenter that never surpasses or fulfils the ingenuity of its premise - Manhattan island as a maximum security prison where the president's plane has crashed. Closely resembling Assault on Precinct 13 in tone and plot dynamics, it's certainly Carpenter's slickest looking film, with the presence of Lee Van Cleef reinforcing its Sergio Leone associations. But, despite a marvellous night-time opening sequence, this slice of escapism often disappoints, though it still rates higher than the poor 1996 sequel Escape from LA.
Homerisms(107) = "The slim lazy Homer you knew is dead. Now I'm a big fat dynamo! And where's that cake?"
10:00pm - 11:55pm
ITV2
Including Entertainment News Update at 10.55
Sullen Kurt Russell impersonates Clint Eastwood in this tough futuristic western from director John Carpenter that never surpasses or fulfils the ingenuity of its premise - Manhattan island as a maximum security prison where the president's plane has crashed. Closely resembling Assault on Precinct 13 in tone and plot dynamics, it's certainly Carpenter's slickest looking film, with the presence of Lee Van Cleef reinforcing its Sergio Leone associations. But, despite a marvellous night-time opening sequence, this slice of escapism often disappoints, though it still rates higher than the poor 1996 sequel Escape from LA.
Homerisms(107) = "The slim lazy Homer you knew is dead. Now I'm a big fat dynamo! And where's that cake?"
Monday, 11 July 2005
The Sky's the limit
Trying to get sky installed in my flat is harder than it sounds.
First of all I need to get a phone line installed, which I don't need (£10/m).
I phoned BT up and they said there would be a £75 charge. Geez, that's hardly fair. I'm going to see if it's cheaper with other companies later.
Wankers!
Homerisms(106) = [reading screen] 'To Start Press Any Key'
Where's the ANY key?
I see Esk ['ESC'], Catarl ['CTRL'], and Pig-Up ['PGUP'].
There doesn't seem to be any ANY key."
Woo! All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB. [presses TAB key]."
First of all I need to get a phone line installed, which I don't need (£10/m).
I phoned BT up and they said there would be a £75 charge. Geez, that's hardly fair. I'm going to see if it's cheaper with other companies later.
Wankers!
Homerisms(106) = [reading screen] 'To Start Press Any Key'
Where's the ANY key?
I see Esk ['ESC'], Catarl ['CTRL'], and Pig-Up ['PGUP'].
There doesn't seem to be any ANY key."
Woo! All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB. [presses TAB key]."
Wednesday, 6 July 2005
Just had lunch with Ian and Wolfy at 12
Only just got back to the office...
It's also one of the guys birthdays at work so had to meet up with them later on.
Unfortunately I have a 4pm meeting with one of our managing agents so coffee all afternoon for me.
Homerisms(105) = "The information superhighway showed the average person what some nerd thinks about Star Trek."
It's also one of the guys birthdays at work so had to meet up with them later on.
Unfortunately I have a 4pm meeting with one of our managing agents so coffee all afternoon for me.
Homerisms(105) = "The information superhighway showed the average person what some nerd thinks about Star Trek."
Lloyd's 2005 Staff Christmas Party
The moment you've been waiting for is finally here!
After considering your feedback from last year's party, we can now reveal that this year's Christmas Party will be held at the........
Vinopolis
No 1 Bank End
SE1 9BU
Friday 9th December
7pm - 12am
Surrounded by a Samurai Nights Theme with authentic Japanese design, you will be greeted with a cocktail upon arrival followed by a variety of food stalls providing you with the delicious tastes of the Orient as well as a combination of traditional food.
Drinks will be provided throughout the evening and you can dance the night away to a varied selection of music from all eras in the Tokyo night club.
Getting to the Vinopolis couldn't be easier as it's located within walking distance from London Bridge station. A shuttle bus service will be provided for London staff from the Lloyd's building to the venue, and for Chatham staff, coaches will be provided to and from the venue. Plus, a taxi marshal will also be available at the end of the evening for anyone who wishes to use it.
It's a night you can't afford to miss!
How it affects you:
Attending will lead to an immense amount of joy and excitement!
Homerisms(104) = "Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't _have_ to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back: our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?"
After considering your feedback from last year's party, we can now reveal that this year's Christmas Party will be held at the........
Vinopolis
No 1 Bank End
SE1 9BU
Friday 9th December
7pm - 12am
Surrounded by a Samurai Nights Theme with authentic Japanese design, you will be greeted with a cocktail upon arrival followed by a variety of food stalls providing you with the delicious tastes of the Orient as well as a combination of traditional food.
Drinks will be provided throughout the evening and you can dance the night away to a varied selection of music from all eras in the Tokyo night club.
Getting to the Vinopolis couldn't be easier as it's located within walking distance from London Bridge station. A shuttle bus service will be provided for London staff from the Lloyd's building to the venue, and for Chatham staff, coaches will be provided to and from the venue. Plus, a taxi marshal will also be available at the end of the evening for anyone who wishes to use it.
It's a night you can't afford to miss!
How it affects you:
Attending will lead to an immense amount of joy and excitement!
Homerisms(104) = "Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't _have_ to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back: our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?"
Tuesday, 5 July 2005
A tear in my eye
Steven Gerrard has said that he wants to leave Liverpool.
Fuck him! Cash in on the scouse twat. £35m.
This is real life, not Football Manager
Homerisms(103) =
Homer: Marge , i 'm bored.
Marge: Why don 't you read something?
Homer: Because i 'm trying to REDUCE my boredom.
Fuck him! Cash in on the scouse twat. £35m.
This is real life, not Football Manager
Homerisms(103) =
Homer: Marge , i 'm bored.
Marge: Why don 't you read something?
Homer: Because i 'm trying to REDUCE my boredom.
Monday, 4 July 2005
Very happy chappy
I moved in successfully on Thursday night and made sure I sorted everything out. Eventually I got to bed around 12:30.
I'm very pleased with the new place. Almost perfect in fact. Exactly what I need.
I'll be having a weekend of fun in a couple of weeks so Ben, Ian, Kris, Ross and Tim you are all invited to stay over. Sleeping bags recommended. At the moment i'm thinking 30th July, although it maybe the weekend either side. I hope you can all attend.
Homerisms(102) = "If you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things!"
I'm very pleased with the new place. Almost perfect in fact. Exactly what I need.
I'll be having a weekend of fun in a couple of weeks so Ben, Ian, Kris, Ross and Tim you are all invited to stay over. Sleeping bags recommended. At the moment i'm thinking 30th July, although it maybe the weekend either side. I hope you can all attend.
Homerisms(102) = "If you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things!"
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