I had a fair few beers last night so was (still am) feeling a little tender this morning. Being a little dehydrated I bought a lucozade from the newspaper stand inside the station.
Stuart: “Can I have a bottle of lucozade please?”
Shopkeeeper: "We have a special offer on lucozade sir, it's £2.50 for two"
Stuart: "No, one is enough thank you. How much is that?"
Shopkeeper: "£1.25"
Stuart: "What? The bulk buying offer you suggested was hardly a bargain idiot! Who do you think you are? Were you trying to con me? I am quite within my rights to report you to trading standards or maybe even to the newspaper sellers guild. Tosser!”
I’ve used a little bit of artistic licence there but I think you can get the gist.
My people call me the dude. I share my teachings in the passages below... (along with many typos, grammatical errors and lazy writing)
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